( aka Mansion )
guitarist - drummer - composer
our loving son and brother
the piece playing in the background is Corey and dad playing "Wayo",
written by Corey and recorded using an RC-20 loopback
Hey hot dog man, I'll always remember this day,
and you will always take up my heart ! I Love you so much, Dad
Corey and Lauren
the most beautiful couple I know - love, dad
To Corey my son,
I want to tell you that somehow I believe you are making even the smallest moments that I need to get through easier for me somehow. I want you to know that it is your life and the gift of knowing you that has taught me what it is to truly love and be loved. There was never a single moment after carrying you in my arms that I did not hold you in my heart while we were apart.
Your smiles brought untold happiness to me, your Dad, sister and countless others. I want to thank you for “peek a-boo,” for holding your hand, for letting me kiss your beautiful head, for the times I ran my fingers through the locks of your hair and for the comfort I had each and every time I held you in my arms.
If it were not for you I would not know that I CAN LOVE TREMENDOUSLY THROUGH TEARS
I will always love you - even more than ice cream!
I still love this picture, Corey - love Dad
April 1 2008
I'm still going through your recorder. You recorded so much. I miss jamming with you. I miss watching your hands, they were magical Corey, they really were. I taught you early on, but you're teaching me now. Malandra is difficult for me to play but I'll never give up. I'm so sad when I hear you speak and laugh on the recordings. I want to get inside. I love you so much Corey, please visit me soon. - Love
April 3, 2008
Why do I get the feeling you're getting a kick out of the difficulty I'm having learning "Malandra"? That's ok, I'm laughing with you. It's such a beautiful song though, I have to learn it. The changes of moods and tempo within the song so describe the beautiful relationship between you and Lauren... the spontaneity.... two free spirits... not a care in the world as long as you had guitars and each other. How lucky you both were to have experienced that while here. Your music shined in Doylestown last Friday night ! You are gathering such a flock of loving fans... we are all so proud of you! - Love, dad
(about 5 years old)
Krista and Corey
Oh the memories, Corey.... so, so many. I have a huge rip in my heart right now, but those beautiful memories you left behind will continue to stitch it up as the days slowly pass. Not a day goes by that I don't cry, then smile at the thought of you. I know you will eventually come through in a song, but my fingers continue to mourn and aren't quite ready. I can hear you through Lauren's guitar and that'll do just fine for now. - Love, dad
We have tickets to see Kaki next Thursday in Philly. I know you will be with us Corey. It will be a great night. We love you. Lauren is writing the most amazing tap pieces. I know you're playing through her, I know it. Krista is also feeling you heavily while she also composes a tap piece of her own. They feel you, so keep it up, and if you wouldn't mind, play through me too :-). - Love, dad
I have 1 minute and 40 seconds of Malandra down on guitar now, almost half done. Remember how frustrated I used to get that you didn't put in the time to learn how to read music?.... and that teaching you a classical piece was taking so much longer because you didn't read? Well, that extra time was time spent with you Corey and now I'm glad you never took the time to read. I miss that frustration and would give anything to have it back. I'm on the other side now, learning Malandra in the same fashion because it's not written out.... and it's like I'm watching you play it bar by bar and, then it's my turn to play those bars, but then you stop me when I miss a note.... I'm loving learning the piece this way because it's taking me so much longer.... thanks for spending the time with me this weekend Corey. I love you - dad.
I was watching a trial on TV last night where some fellow received a life sentence without the possibility of parole. I didn't need the sound on, I knew by the expression on the defendant's face.... very similar to my reflection in the mirror these days. I miss you beyond words, Corey. Lauren and I spoke last night about how long this summer is going to be without you. Help us through it, Corey. Make us smile again. I love you - dad
Found a lot more of your music, Mansion. "Zombie Girlfriend" has made it on your site. I'm still scratching my head on that one. I love your version of "Night After Sidewalk" ! Krista's working on that one too. Is it easier playing music now? I've heard you have much more to choose from. I read a good quote today, son... "healing is a journey, not a destination"... - I love you, Mansion. - dad
I wasn't even sure how I'd spell "Mansion". It was your nickname since I can remember, but I rarely if ever wrote it. When I spoke about you, you were Corey, but when I spoke to you, it was always Mansion. I miss saying it. I retrieved so much music from your recorder today. Wow ! What a beautiful job you did on Kaki's song "Night After Sidewalk". We're gonna see Kaki tomorrow night in Philly and I know you'll be there with us. I wrote to her and asked her to play it tomorrow. I don't know if she will, maybe you can infuence her? I hear your playing through Lauren. You bring out the best in her, Mansion ! I love you - dad
we could be in this room with you forever, Corey. - love, dad
Mansion, you amaze me with the music you recorded. I finished making copies of everything on your Tascam recorder at about 4am this morning. I couldn't stop listening. You left us with 11 solid hours of music and some conversation to cherish forever. And the icing on the cake was another take of "The Last Song" (titled by Krista) - the very last thing you recorded on your unit, and also on mine in January. I wonder what you would have named that song. Regardless, it's beautiful, just so dog gone beautful. I love you - dad
Did you whisper in Kaki's ear? It wasn't on her set list, but she played "Night After Sidewalk" anyway!... Krista wished it heavily too.. could've been her. :-) Honestly, I like your nylon-string version better. Your presence was felt in Philly tonight, Mansion. And regardless of how good Kaki is, or ANY other performer, when I watched you and Krista play "Understand Me Please" anywhere, that was the happiest I would ever be this lifetime - Love you both so much, dad
Rough one today, Mansion. There are some memories and stories that are told and re-told - the 3rd floor restroom, a classic. Those funny moments bring a smile early on, but after telling them or listening to them, I have to get away and it doesn't seem to matter who I'm with, I just gotta be alone and let it all out. I no longer have a fear of flying, so I'm gonna slip away for a bit in June. Be with me, Corey. I love you, son. - dad
Oh my, Mice Parade listened to your music and complimented you, Mansion. I'll forever wonder how far you would've gone with your music. I hear it so differently now and I'd give anything to know that YOU know how proud I am. I wake up every day wanting to hear you play, talk, laugh, eat, and jam with you. My birthdays used to fly by..... everything's in slow motion now. Julie, your paino teacher, called yesterday. You left nice memories for her, too. You are so missed by all of us, Mansion. - I love you - dad
Excuse me, may we see some ID please?!!
I find myself staring at your picture, still in disbelief. It hurts to love someone this much and not be able to touch them. You are my only son, Mansion, and I'd lose any and everyting to have you back. I made some killer chili for my dear friends yesterday. I'm so glad you met Susie. She mentioned how much fun it would have been to have you there with us yesterday... so true. And you did indeed arrive later in the evening.... when Lauren played her guitar... we hear you whenever your angel shares her incredible talent - I love you - dad
Arpil 21, (from Krista)
The words "I miss you" seem so redundant but I just do. I miss seeing your face and messin' up your hair. I miss you pulling my bandana off my head and me freaking out! I miss being startled and screaming when you'd jump out from behind a door. I miss hearing you gently play guitar. I miss how when I still lived at home, we'd hang out in my room, watching movies and playing guitar. I miss all your funny faces. I miss you showing me how to play a song. I miss showing you too. I miss your voice & your laugh. I miss you, Lauren, Steve and I chillun' at our place. I miss having someone in the world I could relate to on that level. I miss you tickling the hell out of me until I couldn't breathe. I miss you making me listen to music you liked in my car. I miss arguing over the front seat in dad's car. I miss you coming to me for advice & I miss giving it to you. I miss seeing your phone number on the caller ID. I miss "made". I miss everyday and every night I ever got to know, love and be around you. I miss you. - Love, your big sis
The weather's warm, the aromas of spring are in the air, the sun's out, hardly a cloud in the sky.... yet, my eyes still rain every morning. I'm trying hard to stay positive, Mansion. Except for an ocassional primal scream from missing you, music you wrote or liked is about all that is heard in my car these days. I miss you so much, son. I love you - dad
Oh Mansion, your sister Krista wrote to you the most beautiful song I've ever heard - Broken. And broken, we are. Every summer got better and better for us, watching you and Krista grow musically. But now there's a huge hole in the season. Not much matters to me anymore, except keeping your memory alive and watching those you've touched continue to blossom, in some ways, just because they knew you. - I love you forever - dad
It's two months today since you left... those 4 hours while you were still warm... saturates my mind still - help me Corey. I watched Krista perform brilliantly yesterday in Stockton. But I glanced around the crowd, wishing so hard to see your face again. Hurt..... just plain hurt. I re-live your life daily, almost like a fast forwarded film. Sometimes, being in public is like watching TV with the volume down - I watch lips move and don't hear what anyone's saying to me, because I still only hear you. - I love you son, - dad
What a week. The season misses you, but not as much as me. Lauren is playing a first friday event and can use your help. I know you'll be with her, Mansion. Your influence on Lauren and Krista is mesmerizing, as they share their new songs. Lauren's "deep in thought 4am" and Krista's "The Mind's I" - it is as if you're still here, I just can't see you. I love you so much and often feel like I'm holding on to saneness by a thread.... such a lonely summer this will be. I want to be with you so badly, Mansion. - love, dad
I know its unusual to wish I was any older, but I can't help it, Mansion. If I was way older, it would mean less time to feel so empty. I remember the compassion you had for the 92 year-old woman when she told you that she hoped not to be around next Christmas. We all understood why she felt that way though, huh? Yes we did. And you sat and continued to talk with her. You were the finest son one could ever hope for. Mansion, help me look forward to weekends and warm sunny days again. - love you so much, dad
I went to church this morning seeking comfort and missed most of the sermon because I can't get you off my mind, Corey. There's a song out there written by Bob Blinn and Jim Moore. Ten, twenty, or thirty years from now, the chorus will still play in my mind....
No matter how hard I try... I think of that perfect October day your sister got married, and how you so beautifully played "night after sidewalk" as your Mom and I walked Krista up the path... and your dog matty-mo and ella leading the way.... what a great day in life! Look at you Mansion... you were so happy... you made us all so proud. We miss you so much - - love, dad
No matter how many years go by
No matter how many tears I cry
I still can't say goodbye
Corey plays at Krista's wedding ceremony October 14, 2007
Hi Mansion. It's Saturday morning for most, saturday mourning for me.... but you brought a lot of smiles and laughs this week. Lauren recorded another beautiful composition - "Into The Other Side" - and to listen to it is like listening to both of you. The 2nd guitar, it's you Corey, I know it is. Mother's Day is tomorrow, so please touch and be with Faith as she continues to miss and love you. Keep influencing Krista's and Lauren's playing and I'll eventually join in with the composing. I love you with all my heart, Corey - love, dad
May 10, later...
Oh Corey, you finally appeared in my dream!! You were only 2 or 3, and it felt so good to hold you in my arms. Keep coming back, please !!! I need you - love, dad
Good morning Corey. You continue to influence and bring out the best in people musically and spritually. I have a huge favor to ask... that is, to use your influence and ask God to send an angel to walk closely with N.T., a beautiful girl your age who wrote me last night and has walked in your shoes. I long to be with you Corey, I miss you so much. Some funny memories are beginning to pierce through the sadness, bringing both smiles and laughter. The pranks you used to pull on Krista.... pissed her off then, but she would give anything to be on the end of your practical jokes and harassment again. - I love you, dad
"this might sound weird, but I believe I lost the chance to get to know someone I'm beginning to love" - Hey Mansion, that was from my closest friend Susie, who spent one glorious afternoon with us and continues to hear stories about you. I'll never forget that day, a day spent with three people I love so much. You live on in the hearts of many. I hear things in your music I never noticed before, Mansion. I'm amazed. I miss shedding with you.... we had so much more music to cover. The last guitar you played hangs in my living room, missing you as much as I do. - love, dad
Hi Mansion. I need your help more than ever.... please visit,... let me hear your voice in a dream. I listen to your music and your voice in my car and it often makes me want to drive forever. I hear your composition "Focus" and wonder what were you thinking?..... I was in the room when you recorded it, but where was my mind at the time? I love you and everything about you. - love, dad
Mansion, you live so clearly in my heart and mind every day. Moments of your life long forgotten come back to me now. I was at a birthday party for an 11 year-old on Friday and the whole time I was there, I envisioned you when you were eleven. I can remember how you looked and how we'd make eye contact from across the room after someone did something dumb nearby - we knew what the other was thinking. Oh God, how I'd love to live each of your 21 years over again. The sadness within, Mansion..... there are so many dimensions of sadness I've never experienced. - I love you, dad.
It's Memorial Day weekend, Mansion. Nothing's the same here without you. How often do I hear, "he's in a better place"? Too often, I guess, but I do believe it's true, thank God. At least you don't have text and email messages to compete with. How many Memorial Day weekends did we go to the PA State Fair? And we always would say on the way out, "never again". :-) yeah, right.... somehow we always made it fun though, Mansion. I miss it, and miss you more than anything. - I love you forever - dad
I lost track of the tears last night, Mansion. Your absence hits me so hard sometimes. Other memories make me laugh, like your never-ending, no-punchline "hiney itches" joke that you told at Sesame Place when you were about 4 years old, which almost caused us to intentionally leave you there! (ha ha) I drove by Sesame Place this past week to meet a friend and relived most of that day when I saw Big Bird. We were so upset because you would not let up with that joke, yet the more we tried to be firm and tell you to stop, the more we'd eventually crack up, which only snowballed into you telling it again and again. - I miss you so much Mansion, I want to live all 21 years over again!! - love forever, dad
Hi Mansion. My head is in a place I never knew existed.... missing you, crying daily, in love with being in love, laying on your childhood blanket, always thinking that the next place I go or the next thing I try will ease the pain..... all so futile. There's no prescription for this, and even if there was, I'd probably O.D. on it. Your music may be played on WXPN this weekend ! Use your influence, son. I love you Mansion. - dad
What a night, Mansion ! I know you were with us last night when Tommy dedicated "Still Can't Say Goodbye" to your memory. I was overwhelmed and lost it, Corey. I closed my wet eyes, envisioned you in my mind, and held the hand of my dearest friend. I'll never forget this night. Tommy knows you play guitar and said he'll be with you one day! I will too, Mansion. - I love you, dad
June 15, (fathers day)
I could cry today, Mansion.... but I got it all out yesterday. When I look at this precious gift you gave me as a young boy, because you knew I liked hot air balloons, I can smile today. No other gift from you touched me like this one. Yeah, the balloon's deflated now, but I still see and feel it as I did that wonderful fathers day in 1997 and I wouldn't trade it for a Mercedes! I am forever proud to be your father, Corey. Thank you for all the wonderful memories. - I love you - dad
I saw you in a very short dream tonight, Mansion. I could not get back to sleep, I miss you so much. I try to stay positive but it's such an act. God bless those who endure this pain under even worse circumstances. You're in front of me every where I go, Mansion. - I love you - dad.
Four months today since you've been gone, Mansion.... and still, no rock bottom in sight. You and I only went to a handful of baseball games in Philly, but I want so badly to be there in the left field stands with you once more. I love you and you were so much fun to be around. I don't think I can ever happily walk into that stadium again. Please be with me. - I love you, dad
Thank you Corey, that was the best dream yet. I couldn't let you go, even while walking up the stairs with you to show Faith and Krista that you are with us. It felt so good to hug you again. I'm sorry I woke up. - I love and miss you, dad
It's so boring on this side, Mansion. Holidays are meaningless, reality TV is enough to make anyone puke. I can play "Malandra" now, such a great song ! Fugue for Booth is next, son. I love you - dad
I'm so blessed to have had a wonderful son like you, Mansion. Sometimes I feel like you're in the car with me when I'm driving. So many funny memories, the way we used to carry on. I ate with Krista and Steve this weekend. Though the void will remain forever, we can still chickle at the memories. I love you so much, son - love, dad
July 21 - from Mom
find the time- I will remember what it
felt like to
hold your hand.
find the time- I will reflect on the joy I
I heard you playing guitar and was
inspired by your gift.
find the time- I will close my eyes and
beautiful your eyes were and how they lit
up my life.
find the time- I will lay my head down and
noses touching for Eskimo kisses.
find the time- I will think about the
times we played
thumb wars in church and cracked up.
find the time- I will talk about the
dreams you had
and shared with me for your future.
find the time I will cuddle with your
flowers that you picked for me.
you told to make me laugh.
I felt each time I saw you.
Mansion, it just doesn't seem real.
When my day is done, time
stands still and I'm engrossed with you,
Krista, Lauren, and Steve in
the summer of 2007. I want it all
back, Mansion. All the
good in my life is over shadowed by this
void, yet, I still find time
to smile back at you when I envision your
smiling face in my
mind. I love you and look so forward
to wandering heaven with
you. - love and hugs, dad
August 13Keep coming through in the dreams Corey, I'm loving it, but awaking too soon. - I love you, dad
Gee Corey, it's 6 months today. Somehow, someway, I hope you know what I write and think. I miss you terribly. I miss you smiling at me, making me laugh, me making you laugh, jamming with you, eating meals with you, and hugging you. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of being with you again, and forever this time... and that thought often dries up the daily tears. I love you, Mansion - love dad
I think back to February 22, when I bought you your last guitar and the joy on your face when you knew we were leaving Sam Ash with it. I was so happy and knew you would continue to soar musically. You played it so beautifully, Corey, and now that Yamaha guitar leans quietly on my wall, sharing my loneliness. There have been no nicer gifts bestowed upon me than you and Krista. - I love you, dad
Mansion, the first summer without you.... it seemed to zip by fast in one sense.... drag forever in another... but a very sad summer regardless. I feel you at times and it is so comforting. I want a tour ! And I know you want to show me all that is new to you. I feel you pulling on me.... there probably isn't even a such thing as patience on your side, I still have to be though. I spent a beautiful evening at Steel City Coffee house last Saturday and I know you were there. Shannon's great, isn't she? She and Fionan are as lucky as you and Lauren. - loving and missing you, dad.
I'm so disappointed that I can't find a recording of "I'm Going Home", one of your last lyrical songs, but Krista has vowed to record it since you taught it to her. I feel and hear a merging of both spirits when I see Krista perform her instrumentals. What a blessing - thank you, Mansion. - I love you - dad
the holidays there is a quiet and constant
for all of us without you here to make us
laugh while you, chased the
around the house, made ovaltine all over
the counter, ate the pumpkin
built a snowman and slid through the
kitchen on your socks.
though I wish it had been a lifetime with
you here I am
so grateful that God gave you to me. You
will always be my precious
you for the Christmas’s that we were
together and for making them the
memories we will hold in our hearts.
love you! Mom
January 3, 2009
Oh Mansion, the emptiness is almost too much to bare anymore. I re-live your life in my mind, page by page and I try to avoid the last page and just cannot, it keeps coming back and tears gush. I miss you more than ever and getting through December was so hard without you. I try hard to balance it out with the wonderful memories you've left behind and it certainly helps. I continue to listen with a new ear to your music and will always wonder how far you would have gone if you had given yourself the chance. I love you Corey - huggin you forever, dad
been told by so many how you inspired
poured into the little chapel to pay their
respects to you.
the other with a story of how they were
by you to play music and how inspired your
music made them feel.
imagine the outpouring of love that we all
shared and that so many
to say so-long and let me know how very
much you meant to them?
saying, no one will ever make me laugh as
much as Corey.
saying, he showed me everything I know on
me feel like I was somebody and no one was
friend to me.
that for me it will be the times you gave
a friend a
place to stay or your new shirt to wear.
tenderly reached over to tune the guitar
and humbly sat and listened to others
playing the song you just taught
only be one explanation for our life here
know it. I have lived enough years to know
enough people and watch life
and end but I have never known another
that has left as many smiles on
hearts of those left behind.
sister calls you her musical SOULMATE.
said that all we have belongs to our
creator and that
we are only the caretakers for the time he
allows us here.
wonder if I took
the care with you that I would have if I
knew I would only have you a
only say that my heart could not hold any
then I have for you.
There are so many questions, but without hesitation I know that you will always be the part of my life that was blessed by having you in it.
FOR EVERY FEATHER THAT FALLS OUR WAY.
Happy Birthday Corey!
first day of your life I was overwhelmed
to meet you
and thought you are the most beautiful and
precious boy. The joy of
that day has
never left me. I will always be blessed
with the memory of each
birthday I was
able to share with you. Birthdays may not
be forever but LOVE is! The
time I laid my eyes on you I fell in love.
January 20, 2009
Birthday, Corey ! I’ll
everything about you.
Though typing thru
tears, I have and hold onto the most
think back to your birthday
last year at Dave and Busters and how the
noise level in that place
so. What I wouldn’t do to have that day
back to replace the deafening
on this birthday. I
miss you so
guitar stands lonely in my
living room. I
know I hugged you in a
recent dream and couldn’t let go. I can’t
let go Corey, I can’t.
again soon – love you forever, Dad
June 9, 2009
October 3, 2009
Hey son, just missing you so much. You were in a dream last night but never long enough. I love you Corey and I feel you around me. Thanks for being !! - Love dad
October 11, 2009
Well Mansion, thanks to Krista and her ideas, your site got a facelift today. I enjoy working on it Corey. I only wish I had the wisdom to include all there is to describe the impact your soul made in such a short visit here on earth. - my love continues to grow for you son - love dad